This is good stuff although not directly applicable to an early 50s Gen-Xer who is happily married for over 30 years with 8 kids, the oldest two being about your age. I certainly don't envy younger men nor do I have sage advice to offer. I am instinctively twitchy about the advice to not get married, I understand the caution but marriage has been the single most critical stabilizing force in my life. Certainly things are different now but still it concerns me, and not from a religious standpoint.
In my view, if marriages were safer for both parties, harder to annual and didn’t carry so many risks in such precarious times, you might see more of it.
You are trying to draw a contrast between yourself and Millennial right-wingers but the advice you give here isn’t greatly different from the advice given by myself or any other Millennial right-winger.
Is that the point? I didn’t see that. Most of the advice I saw was good, but tactical. How to do advice I would give but better. It’s valuable, but not as stark a difference as the author thinks.
As an armchair “Religion Guy” and “Trad” in a worldview sense, I have to agree with you on this one.
Marriage has become largely meaningless in our culture. I’ve seen too many of my Millennial friends either have their marriages fail within 3 years, or settle into a complacent relationship more resembling a 1990s sitcom than a proper traditional family unit. It seems that these long-term arrangements are more ‘situationships’, than anything else.
Traditionally, marriage was the beginning of a new life. Nowadays it seems like the end of life for many couples, because they don’t even know why they got married in the first place. “It was just the thing to do I guess, since we’ve been together for so long.” This is never what the purpose of marriage was intended to be. And of course there are many economic factors contributing to this, but it’s hard for me to see marriage as anything other than a raw deal *unless* a man already has his life’s purpose completely on lock. Then it’s just a matter of finding a woman who is on board with that. Easier said than done, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I for one, intend to hold out until I’ve met that criteria, otherwise I will fully accept my bachelorhood in the service of a higher goal. My advice to Zoomers would be to do the same. It really isn’t worth it unless you know exactly where *you* want to go and she supports you in your goals 100%.
Not much to add, I just turned 50, married a second time to a millennial and couldn't be happier, and we met offline.
Guys my age who are single in Toronto are either so because they want to be - the apps are filled with girls who are totally noncommittal so why tie yourself down? - or they aren't up to snuff in the MAD race of hyper-competitive yoga-laptop class of vapid professional women who think their shit doesn't stink, and guys are just fed up with it and will wait for the younger, hotter, sluttier models in the Queen's/Western/McGill uni pipeline. The bars along King and Queen streets are filled with couples staring at their phones, pondering their options. If you want something better, you get out of town: more luck on the GO train-adjacent smaller communities where the competition level is turned down a notch.
Boomers and Mils are very similar in their attitudes, though their situations are quite different. Both are very likely to feel like they know everything, and less likely to admit they are wrong about anything.
Mils were spoiled by their parents just as Boomers were by the Greatest Generation. This is partly due to GenX overcompensating for the neglect of their Boomer parents and becoming "helicopter parents" and "soccer moms" and inadvertently spoiling their children. Boomers also thought it was ha ha funny to spoil their grandchildren rotten in order to get back at their GenX children ( I guess to hide their guilt for abandoning them and creating the first generation of "latchkey children.")
There have been many books written to back up what I'm saying here; it's not merely my keen observations, so Boomers can talk to the hand.
As another late-ish millennial who tries to give younger dudes dating advice, I enjoyed the article. The only tiny nitpick, if I really have to pick one, is I wouldn't consider Italy a particularly good place to look for women, especially if you're trying to date casually.
It's true that here they have not embraced wokeness as openly as in the Anglosphere, but it's mostly because they've made an art of appealing to either traditional values or feminism based on momentary convenience, facilitated by the fact that men are still traditionally educated to be overly protective of them.
Among the various results, we have one of the lowest femicide rates in all Europe, but it's still decried as a national emergency. On the dating scene, it boils down to many expecting a princess treatment for the most casual of flings, presenting themselves as good marriage material on a superficial level, but then having the same exact propensity for divorce as any other.
The consensus among the women I dated from Northern Europe is "you Italians court your women way too much". I guess we do have our part of responsibility.
I usually didn't like going to the mall, but Dead Mall videos make me nostalgic. Malls were a place to congregate and relax and get some shopping done, and people-watching was enjoyable sometimes if there were sufficient servings of eye candy. Now the primitives have taken over. So much wasted potential, but OTOH you never realize what you've got until it's gone.
You’re right that you don’t understand the dynamics of the church, but you are correctly spotting the rot that is present in all denominations at the moment. If you want to understand how (very) right wing Christians see the situation I would recommend you check out the Stone Choir podcast.
I don't think you can paint churches with such a broad brush, however. There are religious communities where things are functional, and in these communities, things are very very functional. I am in my mid-twenties and the vast majority of my friends (all religious) will be married before the age of thirty. A far cry from the empty boomer death spirals you describe in your articles. I think part of the confusion might come from the fact that the (young) religious folks online tend to be in one of these healthy communities, and your exposure to religion is (I'm just venturing a guess) through boomer relatives or Quebec pop culture.
Super interesting read. My work focuses on building antifragility for young people...I’ve even thought of narrowing down my audience to young men as well (for this current project), as I think it pertains more to my buddies than their wannabe girl friends. Looking forward to hearing your speech this upcoming Saturday and hopefully having a chat!
If young men want to be anti fragile they need to be getting into the skilled trades that have an apprenticeship...My trade is always hiring because we have so many guys that are retiring...
"For example, they often tell young men—particularly Christian ones—to join a church (which is ideologically captured and doesn’t even share the same worldview as either the Wifeguys or Zoomers), find a young lady (who overwhelmingly isn’t found in the most religious areas, which are rural and populated with seniors), and start working (in rural areas across North America that are poor, with minimal job opportunities and little upward mobility—key factors needed to raise the status of young men to “get the girl”).
...
I just can’t wrap my head around these tendencies. I’m not a Christian, so I don’t fully understand the dynamics of the church or the gravitational pull of these captured institutions that make it so goddamn hard to part ways and start something new the right way. But this is a colossal waste of time."
If you can't understand these tendencies, and self admit it, then recognize that there is a key element to it that you're not understanding. One that is making it so that these people, with whom you discuss such marriages with, successful, while you are simply not making the cut - to put it bluntly.
That element is that Catholicism puts quite a great bit of relevance upon the need of suffering for Christ in general. This is before even thinking about marriage. The man and woman, if acting virtuously, are formed within that and habituated towards that within their own lives before they even enter into marital life. They are ready to suffer, and take joy in that suffering, while also pursuing joy and glory in the good things of life as well, and offering all to Christ.
Then, they meet a wife, and are able to devote these habits towards the other.
When people give you advice, they're telling you that you need to get to the grindstone and go WORK. To be ready to suffer and just get it done. You talk about upward mobility in one sentence, and then vilify people for telling them to just go work like they're pursuing a 'traditional but modern thing' that needs to be upwardly mobile. Upward mobility itself is a new thing, bro. You don't need it to have happiness and a good life. People have had families, large ones, and happiness all throughout history.
All you have to do is be fine with a woman that's ok with that. They're out there. There's women that are just as fed up with consumerism and modern life as men. Where are they at? Go to them. Appeal to them. What do they want from you? I almost promise you it's not a man working at his desk in a consumerist economy setting all day.
What sacrifices are you two (man and wife/future wife) willing to do to make that work? Drive an hour to work each way every day? Not eat breakfast every day, with only rice, beans, and eggs for lunch to get the cheapest protein at work? Stay out of debt by using cheap cars, fixing them yourself off youtube videos? Garden come rain or shine? Raise chickens no matter what the weather? Raise kids in thrift store clothes, and yourself too? Make girl dresses out of pillow cases and crochet? Boys with ragged jeans? Shoes out of E6000 glue to hold them together? Get to know neighbors and work together with them to make things work, buy in bulk, learn how to grind your own wheat, etc?
How far are you willing to go to succeed? Where's the line for you and your woman?
Because there IS A LINE for everyone, and I promise you that your country will be taken over by anyone who's line is lower than yours, if you never have children.
That's just the way it goes. And the world will keep turning, uncaring about whoever lives upon it.
That was (roughly speaking) the overall value of the 50 Troy Ounces of Silver I had acquired over ~2 years or so, toiling away... & it was my Full 'Net Worth' back when I was 16. I used it to pay the Mahr (i.e., the Mandatory Dowry amount payable to your future wife) for my Empress, who was satisfied with the paltry amount.
(She is the same age as me, but compared to other girls who were ~16 or so, I found her to be head & shoulders above the rest... concerning family, manners, lineage, etc.).
To get back to Sir Uncouth's Point...
Such women do exist. & I don't want to tout my own horn... but I will say this:
There are men much more scrappy than myself who get married young and have lots of children over the next several years and decades.
"The Future Belongs to Those Who Show Up For It."
The future in question will have less wealth, energy, resources, and other things around us. 'Upward Mobility will not be possible for most people. Even so, there will be men who form families and clans with the mindset that the Bloodline must continue and the Sunnah of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him!) must continue.
I don't think the luxury exists for people to go, "Let me make my fortunes first & THEN marry later...' That sort of thinking is a loser in the scarcity world we are entering.
People who choose it... will find out (very quickly) that other Men are 'calling the shots' in said world because they have expanded their clans & families more excellently.
When I married I was making 15 or 16/hr - don’t remember. Beat up truck. Some savings, but not much. Student loans. Cheap community wedding reception after the wedding mass. It was glorious - paid a neighbor to slaughter a cow, another volunteered to make wine, another made a beautiful cake. We rented a tent and asked everyone to bring a potluck besides the beef and wine.
But for the living part, I had a path in the trades, was scrappy enough to work after hours when I could on odd jobs, and got through the rough bits. A wife helps you focus, because when you’re not doing the home stuff, you can focus on the work stuff.
People say bachelors can make more money. That’s kind of true - if you’re a wandering vagrant, or want to do work where you can’t meet a wife. But otherwise, it’s false. And a wife will take better care of you, your home, your body, and your soul. I always advise men not to do the wandering, make money thing. I've never seen it work - they get hooked on travel, the $$$'s, or become untethered from the world in some fashion.
You need a job, yes. But at 18 you don't need much. Children are cheap. So are the right wives. And you don't really hit your stride till you're 30. You can work for someone else, and be making stuff to sell online. Buy and sell things. Repair cars. Handyman work. Whatever. Sky's the limit. A young man, with skills, can buy his ticket right now if he's willing to do the work and suffer the right amount.
Addendum: Agreed about the 'wandering' lifestyle never working.
The only exception I can think of is a bunch of Yemeni Brothers from the Hadramut Valley who travel as merchants (like their ancestors did centuries prior) to gain work experience. But even these brothers have arranged marriages waiting for them. So not quite the disaster scenario lol!
People who work & live Alone... quickly not just untether from the rest of society; they also rapidly begin to engage in Navel Gazing, Narcissism & other pursuits. & sure, maybe that makes them excel in creative work & other stuff... but they have basically foregone their Familial obligations once they get that far & find out suddenly that they are in their late 40s & without children.
Bachelors who think about being a Lone Wolf, working to build a fortune & then marrying later in life… here’s the deal, bros:
You’ve already told everyone (by your actions) that Work is more important to you than family. Listen, perhaps there are girls out there who think that’s great! But know that if you want to be leading a Giant Clan in the future and ‘calling the shots…’
How you spent said starting years and decades is frowned upon and will be viewed as disqualifactory. Sure, you’ll find other Bachelor bros who like your ‘Work like an Animal FIRST’ approach to life… but they, too, will not have much in the way of progeny or family.
It's not quiet the same in the US unless you're in a close knit community like my own. Otherwise... I liken it to a military marriage. You're taking all the highest risks you can, and you are doing the dumbest ass thing in the world after chasing the $$$'s to make sure those things will be taken away from you.
We have one couple on the community who is making a go of it. Guy was always a little off to begin with. They don't look like they'll be happy, but he might shape up. We'll see, but I doubt it. His dad is too care free (and has too much $$$'s to support silly small stuff, but not enough to fund everything). Father in law is too nice to knock sense into him (probably physically needs it, not just words). So, we'll see where it goes.
As to your example, that's a cultural thing, and very different like you say. But, they know that it's a sign of a man committing to a woman and a livelihood, a family - even before they marry. And it's why there's a cultural thing of chasing the $ here. Because we're consumers and still have that in our head in the mainstream so much that even Dissident people can't get it out of their heads at times. It's hard. If you're a materialist, what else are you going to do?
Even for the non-materialist, it's hard to trust God. When I get low on work, I don't pray for work - I'm always praying, low or not! I turn to my wife and let her pray! That's how He knows it's serious, hah!
99.99999% of women are banal, that is reality, if you want sex and family you just have to deal, and if not, not. I am 58 and over it, so I am in the "not" camp, but I don't have any animus towards younger horny dudes who think it's cute, or want families, shrug.
imagine thinking the wifejak meme is positive. only plain people are reproducing unfortunately. more white christian girls with 93 IQ sleeping with afros incoming.
There’s a fantastic book called “How not to become a millennial” by Aaron Clarey (published under pseudonym at the time), it touches on many of these points with great detail. Loved it too.
This is good stuff although not directly applicable to an early 50s Gen-Xer who is happily married for over 30 years with 8 kids, the oldest two being about your age. I certainly don't envy younger men nor do I have sage advice to offer. I am instinctively twitchy about the advice to not get married, I understand the caution but marriage has been the single most critical stabilizing force in my life. Certainly things are different now but still it concerns me, and not from a religious standpoint.
In my view, if marriages were safer for both parties, harder to annual and didn’t carry so many risks in such precarious times, you might see more of it.
You are trying to draw a contrast between yourself and Millennial right-wingers but the advice you give here isn’t greatly different from the advice given by myself or any other Millennial right-winger.
My reading of this article was that he overall discourages marriages, whereas I would assume that you would encourage it in the right circumstances.
Is that the point? I didn’t see that. Most of the advice I saw was good, but tactical. How to do advice I would give but better. It’s valuable, but not as stark a difference as the author thinks.
As an armchair “Religion Guy” and “Trad” in a worldview sense, I have to agree with you on this one.
Marriage has become largely meaningless in our culture. I’ve seen too many of my Millennial friends either have their marriages fail within 3 years, or settle into a complacent relationship more resembling a 1990s sitcom than a proper traditional family unit. It seems that these long-term arrangements are more ‘situationships’, than anything else.
Traditionally, marriage was the beginning of a new life. Nowadays it seems like the end of life for many couples, because they don’t even know why they got married in the first place. “It was just the thing to do I guess, since we’ve been together for so long.” This is never what the purpose of marriage was intended to be. And of course there are many economic factors contributing to this, but it’s hard for me to see marriage as anything other than a raw deal *unless* a man already has his life’s purpose completely on lock. Then it’s just a matter of finding a woman who is on board with that. Easier said than done, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I for one, intend to hold out until I’ve met that criteria, otherwise I will fully accept my bachelorhood in the service of a higher goal. My advice to Zoomers would be to do the same. It really isn’t worth it unless you know exactly where *you* want to go and she supports you in your goals 100%.
Not much to add, I just turned 50, married a second time to a millennial and couldn't be happier, and we met offline.
Guys my age who are single in Toronto are either so because they want to be - the apps are filled with girls who are totally noncommittal so why tie yourself down? - or they aren't up to snuff in the MAD race of hyper-competitive yoga-laptop class of vapid professional women who think their shit doesn't stink, and guys are just fed up with it and will wait for the younger, hotter, sluttier models in the Queen's/Western/McGill uni pipeline. The bars along King and Queen streets are filled with couples staring at their phones, pondering their options. If you want something better, you get out of town: more luck on the GO train-adjacent smaller communities where the competition level is turned down a notch.
Boomers and Mils are very similar in their attitudes, though their situations are quite different. Both are very likely to feel like they know everything, and less likely to admit they are wrong about anything.
Mils were spoiled by their parents just as Boomers were by the Greatest Generation. This is partly due to GenX overcompensating for the neglect of their Boomer parents and becoming "helicopter parents" and "soccer moms" and inadvertently spoiling their children. Boomers also thought it was ha ha funny to spoil their grandchildren rotten in order to get back at their GenX children ( I guess to hide their guilt for abandoning them and creating the first generation of "latchkey children.")
There have been many books written to back up what I'm saying here; it's not merely my keen observations, so Boomers can talk to the hand.
As another late-ish millennial who tries to give younger dudes dating advice, I enjoyed the article. The only tiny nitpick, if I really have to pick one, is I wouldn't consider Italy a particularly good place to look for women, especially if you're trying to date casually.
It's true that here they have not embraced wokeness as openly as in the Anglosphere, but it's mostly because they've made an art of appealing to either traditional values or feminism based on momentary convenience, facilitated by the fact that men are still traditionally educated to be overly protective of them.
Among the various results, we have one of the lowest femicide rates in all Europe, but it's still decried as a national emergency. On the dating scene, it boils down to many expecting a princess treatment for the most casual of flings, presenting themselves as good marriage material on a superficial level, but then having the same exact propensity for divorce as any other.
The consensus among the women I dated from Northern Europe is "you Italians court your women way too much". I guess we do have our part of responsibility.
I usually didn't like going to the mall, but Dead Mall videos make me nostalgic. Malls were a place to congregate and relax and get some shopping done, and people-watching was enjoyable sometimes if there were sufficient servings of eye candy. Now the primitives have taken over. So much wasted potential, but OTOH you never realize what you've got until it's gone.
You’re right that you don’t understand the dynamics of the church, but you are correctly spotting the rot that is present in all denominations at the moment. If you want to understand how (very) right wing Christians see the situation I would recommend you check out the Stone Choir podcast.
I don't think you can paint churches with such a broad brush, however. There are religious communities where things are functional, and in these communities, things are very very functional. I am in my mid-twenties and the vast majority of my friends (all religious) will be married before the age of thirty. A far cry from the empty boomer death spirals you describe in your articles. I think part of the confusion might come from the fact that the (young) religious folks online tend to be in one of these healthy communities, and your exposure to religion is (I'm just venturing a guess) through boomer relatives or Quebec pop culture.
Super interesting read. My work focuses on building antifragility for young people...I’ve even thought of narrowing down my audience to young men as well (for this current project), as I think it pertains more to my buddies than their wannabe girl friends. Looking forward to hearing your speech this upcoming Saturday and hopefully having a chat!
If young men want to be anti fragile they need to be getting into the skilled trades that have an apprenticeship...My trade is always hiring because we have so many guys that are retiring...
Insta click n like bc of the title. Was thinking this like 10 minutes ago lol
I side with the zoomers on this one. We need to flip the table
"For example, they often tell young men—particularly Christian ones—to join a church (which is ideologically captured and doesn’t even share the same worldview as either the Wifeguys or Zoomers), find a young lady (who overwhelmingly isn’t found in the most religious areas, which are rural and populated with seniors), and start working (in rural areas across North America that are poor, with minimal job opportunities and little upward mobility—key factors needed to raise the status of young men to “get the girl”).
...
I just can’t wrap my head around these tendencies. I’m not a Christian, so I don’t fully understand the dynamics of the church or the gravitational pull of these captured institutions that make it so goddamn hard to part ways and start something new the right way. But this is a colossal waste of time."
If you can't understand these tendencies, and self admit it, then recognize that there is a key element to it that you're not understanding. One that is making it so that these people, with whom you discuss such marriages with, successful, while you are simply not making the cut - to put it bluntly.
That element is that Catholicism puts quite a great bit of relevance upon the need of suffering for Christ in general. This is before even thinking about marriage. The man and woman, if acting virtuously, are formed within that and habituated towards that within their own lives before they even enter into marital life. They are ready to suffer, and take joy in that suffering, while also pursuing joy and glory in the good things of life as well, and offering all to Christ.
Then, they meet a wife, and are able to devote these habits towards the other.
When people give you advice, they're telling you that you need to get to the grindstone and go WORK. To be ready to suffer and just get it done. You talk about upward mobility in one sentence, and then vilify people for telling them to just go work like they're pursuing a 'traditional but modern thing' that needs to be upwardly mobile. Upward mobility itself is a new thing, bro. You don't need it to have happiness and a good life. People have had families, large ones, and happiness all throughout history.
All you have to do is be fine with a woman that's ok with that. They're out there. There's women that are just as fed up with consumerism and modern life as men. Where are they at? Go to them. Appeal to them. What do they want from you? I almost promise you it's not a man working at his desk in a consumerist economy setting all day.
What sacrifices are you two (man and wife/future wife) willing to do to make that work? Drive an hour to work each way every day? Not eat breakfast every day, with only rice, beans, and eggs for lunch to get the cheapest protein at work? Stay out of debt by using cheap cars, fixing them yourself off youtube videos? Garden come rain or shine? Raise chickens no matter what the weather? Raise kids in thrift store clothes, and yourself too? Make girl dresses out of pillow cases and crochet? Boys with ragged jeans? Shoes out of E6000 glue to hold them together? Get to know neighbors and work together with them to make things work, buy in bulk, learn how to grind your own wheat, etc?
How far are you willing to go to succeed? Where's the line for you and your woman?
Because there IS A LINE for everyone, and I promise you that your country will be taken over by anyone who's line is lower than yours, if you never have children.
That's just the way it goes. And the world will keep turning, uncaring about whoever lives upon it.
1,545.51 USD.
That was (roughly speaking) the overall value of the 50 Troy Ounces of Silver I had acquired over ~2 years or so, toiling away... & it was my Full 'Net Worth' back when I was 16. I used it to pay the Mahr (i.e., the Mandatory Dowry amount payable to your future wife) for my Empress, who was satisfied with the paltry amount.
(She is the same age as me, but compared to other girls who were ~16 or so, I found her to be head & shoulders above the rest... concerning family, manners, lineage, etc.).
To get back to Sir Uncouth's Point...
Such women do exist. & I don't want to tout my own horn... but I will say this:
There are men much more scrappy than myself who get married young and have lots of children over the next several years and decades.
"The Future Belongs to Those Who Show Up For It."
The future in question will have less wealth, energy, resources, and other things around us. 'Upward Mobility will not be possible for most people. Even so, there will be men who form families and clans with the mindset that the Bloodline must continue and the Sunnah of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him!) must continue.
I don't think the luxury exists for people to go, "Let me make my fortunes first & THEN marry later...' That sort of thinking is a loser in the scarcity world we are entering.
People who choose it... will find out (very quickly) that other Men are 'calling the shots' in said world because they have expanded their clans & families more excellently.
Exactly.
When I married I was making 15 or 16/hr - don’t remember. Beat up truck. Some savings, but not much. Student loans. Cheap community wedding reception after the wedding mass. It was glorious - paid a neighbor to slaughter a cow, another volunteered to make wine, another made a beautiful cake. We rented a tent and asked everyone to bring a potluck besides the beef and wine.
But for the living part, I had a path in the trades, was scrappy enough to work after hours when I could on odd jobs, and got through the rough bits. A wife helps you focus, because when you’re not doing the home stuff, you can focus on the work stuff.
People say bachelors can make more money. That’s kind of true - if you’re a wandering vagrant, or want to do work where you can’t meet a wife. But otherwise, it’s false. And a wife will take better care of you, your home, your body, and your soul. I always advise men not to do the wandering, make money thing. I've never seen it work - they get hooked on travel, the $$$'s, or become untethered from the world in some fashion.
You need a job, yes. But at 18 you don't need much. Children are cheap. So are the right wives. And you don't really hit your stride till you're 30. You can work for someone else, and be making stuff to sell online. Buy and sell things. Repair cars. Handyman work. Whatever. Sky's the limit. A young man, with skills, can buy his ticket right now if he's willing to do the work and suffer the right amount.
Addendum: Agreed about the 'wandering' lifestyle never working.
The only exception I can think of is a bunch of Yemeni Brothers from the Hadramut Valley who travel as merchants (like their ancestors did centuries prior) to gain work experience. But even these brothers have arranged marriages waiting for them. So not quite the disaster scenario lol!
People who work & live Alone... quickly not just untether from the rest of society; they also rapidly begin to engage in Navel Gazing, Narcissism & other pursuits. & sure, maybe that makes them excel in creative work & other stuff... but they have basically foregone their Familial obligations once they get that far & find out suddenly that they are in their late 40s & without children.
Bachelors who think about being a Lone Wolf, working to build a fortune & then marrying later in life… here’s the deal, bros:
You’ve already told everyone (by your actions) that Work is more important to you than family. Listen, perhaps there are girls out there who think that’s great! But know that if you want to be leading a Giant Clan in the future and ‘calling the shots…’
How you spent said starting years and decades is frowned upon and will be viewed as disqualifactory. Sure, you’ll find other Bachelor bros who like your ‘Work like an Animal FIRST’ approach to life… but they, too, will not have much in the way of progeny or family.
It's not quiet the same in the US unless you're in a close knit community like my own. Otherwise... I liken it to a military marriage. You're taking all the highest risks you can, and you are doing the dumbest ass thing in the world after chasing the $$$'s to make sure those things will be taken away from you.
We have one couple on the community who is making a go of it. Guy was always a little off to begin with. They don't look like they'll be happy, but he might shape up. We'll see, but I doubt it. His dad is too care free (and has too much $$$'s to support silly small stuff, but not enough to fund everything). Father in law is too nice to knock sense into him (probably physically needs it, not just words). So, we'll see where it goes.
As to your example, that's a cultural thing, and very different like you say. But, they know that it's a sign of a man committing to a woman and a livelihood, a family - even before they marry. And it's why there's a cultural thing of chasing the $ here. Because we're consumers and still have that in our head in the mainstream so much that even Dissident people can't get it out of their heads at times. It's hard. If you're a materialist, what else are you going to do?
Even for the non-materialist, it's hard to trust God. When I get low on work, I don't pray for work - I'm always praying, low or not! I turn to my wife and let her pray! That's how He knows it's serious, hah!
99.99999% of women are banal, that is reality, if you want sex and family you just have to deal, and if not, not. I am 58 and over it, so I am in the "not" camp, but I don't have any animus towards younger horny dudes who think it's cute, or want families, shrug.
imagine thinking the wifejak meme is positive. only plain people are reproducing unfortunately. more white christian girls with 93 IQ sleeping with afros incoming.
Enjoyed this read thoroughly.
There’s a fantastic book called “How not to become a millennial” by Aaron Clarey (published under pseudonym at the time), it touches on many of these points with great detail. Loved it too.
It’s funny that a lot of people in the comments are Gen X family men😅
Zoomers like me seem underrepresented 🤷