Leaflibs & Puckstick Patriots

Defining the Archetypes

The past week has been very special because something happened in Canada. This something is not anything I could have anticipated, but I find myself not particularly surprised. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau propped up the husk of Jeff Douglas like an old Fisher King from some retelling of Arthurian legend. Jeff Douglas is famous for his appearance in the Molson Canadian beer commercial, released in the year 2000. This commercial was possibly the hardest-hitting, if not among the top hardest-hitting, propaganda pieces ever produced in service of regime ideology. That regime ideology is Canadian liberalism—a form of left-liberalism that emerged out of the Second World War, in direct contradiction to American right-liberalism.

Many American correspondents have asked me to explain why it seems like liberals are patriotic in Canada, while conservatives are not. The answer is simple: Canadian liberalism has been regime ideology since at least Lester B. Pearson in 1963, Pierre Trudeau’s predecessor, who laid the groundwork for a sinister, transformative cultural revolution—the likes of which I can only compare to the USSR or Communist China.

What occurred in this era was a complete and total restructuring of society—an absolutely Orwellian mind-wipe of Canadian identity, a retconning of Canadian history, culminating in the explicit purpose of erasing the historic Canadian nation. So successful was this cultural revolution that, for my entire 30 years of life, the narrative has been that Canada is an illegitimate, post-national state on stolen land. Paradoxically, the people are viciously patriotic toward the hollow state, whose newfound identity obsesses over its own dissolution, its symbols and icons mostly channeled into corporate brands and products, like Canadian Tire, fast food chains like Tim Hortons, and the timeless bread and circuses of hockey.

Canada was transformed into an international economic zone of individuals with relatively maximal allotments for personal fulfilment—including the most licentious, disgusting, and degenerate, as long as it remains acceptable within the Overton window of the time.

A cornerstone of this identity is precisely outdoing the U.S. in how liberal it can be—true to the end goal of transnational liberals like Francis Fukuyama in The End of History and the Last Man. In this 63-year era, there are two archetypes of the average man or woman. These archetypes manifest as more moderate, more common versions of the populist American wannabe or the neurotic DEI cultist I discussed in my other article. These are what I’ve coined “leaflibs” and “puckstick patriots.” They represent the centre-left liberal and centre-right liberal majority of Canada.

There is often overlap between the two, but what they have in common is an extreme ignorance of Canadian and world history and national identity. Both regularly partake in the communion of the left-liberal civic religion but do so in different ways. They are also united in that the vast majority of information they obtain about local, regional, and national politics comes from legacy media outlets like the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (state-owned, publicly funded broadcaster), CTV, and Global News—old-school news outlets whose private owners and shareholders differ little in belief.

What the Canadian ruling classes have in common is that they are extremely insular and scarcely interact with the public. In many ways, Canada resembles European countries. Canadians were, for a long time, educated along stratified British class lines, and everyone knew their place. Canada’s national value is Order, not Liberty, and traditionally, society functioned as a collective, organic whole in a proper communitarian model, where the social expectation of the enlightened and powerful elites was to tend to their responsibilities of responsible government.

Let’s discuss these two “normie” archetypes. International readers, especially Americans, may notice parallels with their own mainstream liberal and conservative, yet otherwise ill-informed, media-consuming relations.

Leaflibs

The Leaflib (a portmanteau of leaf in the maple leaf flag and liberal) is the cornerstone patriot of Canada. Flat out, their identity is rooted in the cultural revolutionary victory of Pierre Trudeau and his vision of Canada. The Leaflib believes they have a social and moral duty—a responsibility—to spread the secular civic cult beliefs of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms worldwide.

In terms of age demographics, they’re mostly concentrated in the Baby Boomer generation, as they would have been in their prime youth during Pierre Trudeau’s tenure. They supported the flag debate and the flag change of 1965 from the Canadian Red Ensign to the current flag of Canada today, the Maple Leaf. They supported Pierre Trudeau’s predecessor, Lester B. Pearson, and his points-based immigration reform, which, for the first time in Canadian history, allowed mass immigration from non-Western countries.

The Leaflib believes left-liberal, progressive values are the sole defining factor of Canadian identity. Starting with formal legal recognition of Quebec as a distinct society and French Canadian minority rights (though these were exploited as a cudgel against Anglo-Canadians by communists), they expanded minority rights to every manner of ahistorical foreign diaspora who have no historical legitimacy or justification for living within Canada. This group are the harbingers of state propaganda declaring Canada a “cultural mosaic,” not a “melting pot” like the United States. They believe Canada is a global “peacekeeper,” not a “policer” like the United States. This group has fully imbibed the idea that Canadians are kind and polite, but this is really just a form of humble bragging. They’re the most likely to claim that when they travel abroad, they’re treated like royalty—unlike those filthy, rude, mean Americans.

Leaflibs are dramatically opposed to any form of militarism or military expeditions. They have stymied any attempts at modernizing the military or remilitarizing it at all. Perhaps most recently, they are bloodthirsty for Russian blood, having fully bought into the rules-based international order left-liberal view—but not a single one of them would be fit for service, whether going abroad to fight and die for Ukraine or, indeed, even for Canada in the highly unlikely situation that American forces attempt to invade the country.

Aggressively against the private ownership of firearms—a traditional cultural practice in North America dating back to the first Europeans who stepped foot on the continent—their anti-gun stance is framed as being distinct from gun-crazy Americans. Leaflibs tend to support moderate forms of socialism and progressive reform, acutely adopting things like socialized healthcare, originally from the socialist CCF party. The healthcare system is a core pillar in their mythology. It is absolutely sacred and untouchable, and if we adopt a mixed system with both public and private options, we’ll be paying “$10,000 for a broken arm, just like those Americans.”

The Leaflib doesn’t particularly care about sports, though hockey is the most important sport in Canada. The Leaflib vehemently supports secularism, atheism, and, in milder forms, irreligiosity. The Leaflib is functionally Reddit: the country, and it shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that Canadians are disproportionately represented among global Reddit users on the internet.

The Leaflib’s historical allies are Blue State America—that is to say, densely populated, rootless, cosmopolitan, credentialist urban centres in states solidly controlled by the American Democratic Party. They have a friendly rivalry oriented on who can out-shitlib each other, but they admire their prestige, power, and influence more than they harbour any sort of antipathy. The elitist disposition comes naturally to the Leaflib because, 200 years ago, they would have been the backbone of Anglo-Canadian Loyalists and French Canadian Royalistes, both rejecting the liberal revolutions of the United States and France.

In Canada’s labour market, this cohort overwhelmingly works for the government—whether municipal, provincial, or federal—positions only accessible through a combination of post-secondary (university) education, the right racial, ethnic, sexual, or religious background, and loyalty to the civil religion and its tenets. The median income in Canada is $48,000, and Leaflibs make something in the range of $60,000 to over six figures regularly. Leaflibs have succeeded in locking out access to these jobs by similarly gatekeeping Canadian universities—and even access to them.

Canadian universities are known worldwide for their extreme and fanatical left-liberalism, rivalling institutions like Harvard or even the University of California, Berkeley. The University of Toronto, the University of British Columbia, and McGill University in Montreal are the top three most prestigious universities, offering cutting-edge courses in the latest anti-racist, decolonial deconstruction of systemic white supremacy through Indigenous potlatches or Ethiopian basket weaving. Today, they rule the roost in government, healthcare, and the education system, having captured these foundational pillars of Canadian society.

If you don’t toe the line and don’t have a degree to appease the gynocratic gerontocracy—the ruthless tyranny of middle-aged HR hags, head nurses, and shrill professors—you’re not paying the bills, and you’re not owning a home. Only those who’ve been blessed with divine revelation—sorry, “education”—who understand that everything before 1963 was the dark, ignorant before-times full of evil and barbarism, and that the enlightened, secular, humanist left-liberal progressive anno-domini—sorry, “after times”—is the only truth, are eligible for a good salary that can procure a slice of land or a home.

When the managerial system propagated itself across the Western world after the Second World War, the Leaflib, with their compatible national value of Peace, Order, and Good Government, were more suited than others to elevate a class of credentialed managers with the technical expertise to oversee the operations of the old liberal democratic bourgeoisie. As the story goes, the managerial elite supplanted the old bourgeoisie, and their divergent incentives led to a top-heavy, all-consuming bureaucracy of the Canadian government, hastened by a poor economy, low productivity, and a weak private sector.

Canada isn’t just a totalitarian state that uses soft power (but occasionally hard power) to maintain an iron grip over the country while pretending to be a liberal democracy—it is perhaps the epitome of the managerial revolution prophesied by James Burnham and elaborated on by Samuel T. Francis.

Throughout my youth, the Leaflib championed the fact that they pioneered the decriminalization of homosexuality, legalized gay marriage, legalized the possession and consumption of marijuana (DUDE WEED LMAO), flooded the country with nine million foreigners between the Harper years and Trudeau, instituted totalitarian lockdowns for the COVID-19 epidemic, declared martial law to stop protestors, and fabricated the single greatest humiliation ritual, with struggle sessions over the nonexistent graves of Indigenous children who allegedly perished in residential schools.

In order to compete with Blue State Americans, they also pioneered the adoption of “2SLGBTQIA+” and trans rights, because American pride movements simply weren’t enough. The vast majority of Leaflibs have secure positions, are financially incentivized, and are socially rewarded for their religiosity.

For my entire life, I was told that Canada is a post-national state on stolen Indigenous land, that the Canadian nation doesn’t exist, that we’re all humans, for all peoplekind. At the time of this writing, about half of that has been swept under the rug in a patriotic fervour, cynically exploited by the Laurentian Elite of Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal—complete with bringing back Molson Canadian beer commercials, where they proclaimed diversity, not assimilation, and peacekeeping, not policing as their mantras.

The Trump annexation and tariff threat has failed; instead, it has galvanized this segment of society. A solid majority of Canadians were discussing the abject failure of multiculturalism, mass immigration, and had begun digging deep into our history to properly rediscover what a Canadian actually is.

All in all, the Leaflib is a midwitted credentialist, undeserving of their wealth and artificially inflated social status. Their credentials (which are meaningless because universities are training camps for leftist activism) have financially incentivized good jobs, resulting in 55% of Canadians having university education—and the country collectively has absolutely nothing to show for it. Even the federal entity itself is an aging fossil of the cultural victories of the 1990s. This is the peak of the left-liberal, Baby Boomer-driven, managerial elite.

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The Puckstick Patriot

The good ol’ boy. The Habs or Toronto Maple Leafs enthusiast. The guy who riots over a hockey game—whether his team wins or loses—rather than rioting over 50,000 fentanyl overdose deaths (more than the fatalities of Canadian soldiers in the Second World War), for which the Chinese Communist Party is responsible for trafficking; migrants having “sexual emergencies” in swimming pools; or autogynephiles trying to enter the sanctum of children’s washrooms.

By golly, he loves his Double Double and his Farmer’s Wrap from Tim Hortons during the one-hour commute in his gas-guzzling Ford F-250 every day that costs him an arm and a leg in insurance. Eternal lover of Trailer Park Boys, The Red Green Show, and Letterkenny, he aspires to move to Alberta and become a rig pig. Little does he know he’ll burn through that $10,000 a month paycheque (before taxes) on coke or meth just to stay awake fulfilling his duties as a Derrickhand on the oil patch.

He might be disgusted with leftists—the blue- and green-haired, their overweight, indulgent bodies—but he draws a line in the snow at “racism”, doncha know, bud? This here’s a cultural mosaic—a Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian, alright, bud?

“Ours is a nationalism not based on bloodlines, birthplace, or background. What binds us together is the Canadian Promise. Whether your name is Poilievre or Patel, anyone from anywhere can do anything. We’ll treat all of our people, regardless of their race, as Canadian—and Canadian first—with no hyphens.”

This is verbatim the exact belief of Pierre Trudeau.

The Puckstick Patriot also believes in watered-down classical liberalism—that collectivism is the same as fascism and communism—preferring instead that Canadians be rootless individuals adrift in a free-market capitalist society. He believes, at best, that a Canadian is anybody who legally immigrates to Canada and “adopts our values,” completely ignorant of the fact that Canada has made it an official policy not to integrate newcomers since Pierre Trudeau’s 1971 Multiculturalism Policy. This has been going on for approximately 50 years unbeknownst to him, yet he has a begrudging respect for those damn French in Quebec for their aggressive, proactive attempt at integrating the much smaller number of immigrants the province receives.

He also believes Donald Trump is a shit-disturbing jackass and boos the American national anthem at hockey games, not knowing where his anti-American sentiment comes from or the true, original meaning behind the discrepancy.

Most Puckstick Patriots in Canada are also gun enthusiasts who hide behind claims of simply being peaceful rural farmers who want to hunt sometimes, having totally abandoned any notions of perfectly justifiable and morally legitimate desires to defend person and property in self-defence situations. This has led to absolutely nothing—except for the Liberal Party banning hundreds of models of firearms each and every time they take a swing.

This cohort completely lacks any conviction and crumbles under the slightest bite of cold wind from vicious liberals. The Conservative Party of Canada has lost two recent elections—and may lose a third—purely because close to half of all Canadians in recent polls want the remigration of millions of foreigners, yet Pierre Poilievre was too cautious to broach the subject. When finally confronted, he simply claimed the system was broken—while telling Punjabi communities that the party wants “direct flights to Amritsar.” Similarly, when provincial Conservative Premier Danielle Smith enacted restrictions on “trans youth” for “gender-affirming care,” he declined to comment and only cautiously agreed to the policies while sweating bullets.

The Puckstick Patriot is terrified of accusations of racism, sexism, or misogyny, and can’t even muster the courage to defend the meritocratic, colourblind society he and his group allegedly believe in. Many of them functionally live in a world that resembles 2015, having managed to dodge the immense demographic transformation currently ongoing across the country.

But all in all, if anyone is to change for the common good of Canada, I believe hope lies in both the Puckstick Patriot and the personality, but not the manifestation, of the Leaflib. The masses of them are the only thing—figuratively and also literally—holding the Canadian government up with their brutal work ethic and immense taxes, alongside a rebellious cohort of elite-minded, credentialed professionals with their technical expertise.

If the Puckstick Patriot can overcome his fears, put his foot down, realize the errors of his foundational beliefs, and transform into an actual, historic Canadian conservative—back when Canada was known for being more conservative than the U.S., rather than more liberal—and if the Leaflib can drop his blind hatred of hard-working Canadians, unite under their real common heritage, and provide the education, leadership, and training, Canada may have a chance to save itself, fend off the Americans, strike a balance between Washington and Brussels, and become the backbone of a new Canadian golden age.